I Remember
by shigureisasexybeast
Summary: The Elric brothers spend the night thinking about what could have and would have happened.


I lay there, the damp grass tickling my back softly through the loose fabric of my shirt, the vast sea of stars twinkling overhead, thousands of pinpoints of light scattered aimlessly throughout the galaxy. I had never really liked stargazing, the seemingly endless expanse of the sky looming overhead always made me feel small and powerless, neither of which were emotions that i particularly enjoyed. It seemed to me that I was merely a bystander to the goings on of the Earth, unable to do anything but watch as society was slowly demolished from within, as people I loved disappeared from my life one by one; killed, escaped, run off, left me. But that was why I came here, why I suffered through this intolerable feeling of smallness, of being engulfed by the entire universe on the same night every single year for as long as i could remember; to honor one of these people, someone who had left me, only not on purpose, or so I hoped. My mother. I sighed, resisting the urge to squeeze my eyes shut and block out the endless black expanse overhead, and almost jumped out of my skin when it suddenly registered in my mind that the sound of soft footsteps was sounding in my ears.

Propping myself up on one elbow, I turned slightly and looked behind me. Al was making his way up the hill towards me, hands shoved in his pockets, eyes downcast, and I knew that he must have figured out what day it was, just as I had. Resisting the urge to groan out loud, I lay down again, silently wishing that my brother hadn't come, that he had stayed asleep, inside, safe from the waves of guilt, pain, and hatred crashing over me. He finally reached me, and I looked up at him, stealing myself for the torture that I knew his eyes must hold. I wasn't disappointed. After a minute he broke the gaze, turning his eyes away to look out over the grassy fields behind us. Frowning slightly, I reached up to grab his wrist, gently pulling him down next to me. He picked a blade of grass and began running it through his fingers, shaking my hand off. I felt a concerned expression cross my face and quickly turned away, returning my gaze to the merciless sky above me. An idea was slowly building inside of me, traveling around the inside of my head searching for any faults, weaknesses, any ways that it could possibly fail. And my head belonging to who it did, it wound none, only a few small, well placed doubts. So, never once even considering the consequences of my actions, I opened my mouth and voiced it.  
"Do you think we should try again?"Al recoiled as if slapped, turning to face me once more, his eyes filled with blazing fury. 

"What are you thinking brother!?" His voice cracked across the still night like a whip. "Now, when we've just finally gotten ourselves back to normal, you want to throw it all away again. One last final attempt to complete the impossible." He let out a dry humorless laugh and I almost winced. I knew how much it hurt for him to remember, but he didn't have to blow my idea, blow mom, off that easily. Taking a deep breath, I attempted to calm myself down, I would convince him, it could take all night if it had to. 

"I was thinking more of the headlines. 'Elric Brothers-National Heroes in Alchemic community'." A thought occurred to me then, which almost brought a smile to my face, almost but not quite. "And Mustang's expression." I added as an after thought, "That would be something..." Al's breath came out in a furious hiss. 

"Try 'Elric Brothers found dead in laboratory, apparently did not learn lesson the first time-" His voice cracked slightly and he broke off, hands balling into fists beside him. I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut as reality once again slammed down over me. I was finally pulled from my pit of self despair by a quiet sniff beside me. I let out an equally soft sigh, and completely disregarding the argument that had just taken place, I reached out and grabbed his hand resting on the ground beside me, squeezing it hesitantly. To my surprise, he latched onto me, his fingernails digging almost painfully into the soft skin on the back of my hand. Neither of us spoke for a long time, we just sat there, lost in the painful memories, clinging to each other, seemingly unable to let go. For if we did, we would fall away, unable to support our own weight. But together we could survive, could pull each other through, and we eventually, we would.


End file.
